Afraid of failing?

Have you ever taken on something even though you were scared of failing or thought that others would make fun of you and did it anyway? One year ago this month, I completed my YOGA certification. I had all those feelings and more… 

I had been doing YOGA for over 15 years on and off. Getting to learn more about it and beyond the physical aspect of it really interested me. When I turned 50, it nagged at me so much, I finally did some research (not much if I am being honest) and found a teacher that was offering an instructor certification program in my area that also included an on-line portion which aligned well with my lifestyle and schedule.  I liked her vibe and after I spoke to her, she had me hooked. 

So… I registered, begged someone in my life to help me with the financial investment - which was not insignificant and off I went. Investing all this money, time and energy from May to November. YES - that is how much time I invested into this. Every 2 weekends, I was all in for the entire time from May until November. 10:30 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. Saturday and Sunday PLUS the 35 minute drive there and back home. It was a lot! 

The first day in person, my head hurt. I was worried about my 50+ body when I first joined. What I had underestimated was my head hurting. All this new information, taking notes, sharing of information and emotions was a lot. At times, it felt overwhelming. I would come back home on the Sunday, exhausted and started that week already tired on the Monday. 

Then, there was the homework, the readings, reviewing and recording ourselves doing poses, shapes and postures to see our progress. 

I am so  happy I took on this challenge for so many reasons. The feeling that I can do it.  The support of my family through this journey has brought us all together in different ways at various levels. My feeling of accomplishment and desire to teach others came up in a way that I did not expect. My intent initially was to learn more deeply about YOGA for my own growth, not to teach it. Especially not teaching on-line! 🫣😳

Fast forward a year later…

This morning, I was preparing for our Saturday YOGA on the GO class. I pulled out my cue cards to write down a few notes for the class. I glanced at all my cue cards from all the previous classes I designed over the last year. (picture below). 

I was shocked when I realized how many classes I have designed already, then started to think how many I have taught over the last 10 months since I started YOGA on the GO… When I was certified last November, my instructor had given us a challenge. She told us that we should go out and teach our first 100 classes. ONE HUNDRED classes? Was she kidding? It seemed impossible to me at the time. Especially because I had no intention of teaching when I set out on the path of certification. 

She said it took 100 classes to gain enough experience and feedback to know if this is something we wanted to continue doing. 

She KNEW. She knew that if we didn’t have that goal or something to strive for, it would be so EASY to quit. So easy to give up especially when it gets hard and challenging. So many doubts when you first start (insert anything) teaching yoga : 

• maybe I design a class and nobody shows up
• maybe my explanations are not clear  
• maybe the class doesn’t feel as good as I wanted to make it 
• maybe I am too old
• maybe I am not good enough
• maybe the moves are too hard
• maybe the moves are too easy
• maybe my students won’t like me
• maybe my students don’t like the shapes or postures 
• maybe the ZOOM link won’t work
• maybe the videos will be choppy or not as clear as I want them to be
• and the questioning goes on and on… 

THE DOUBTING! It's always there - isn’t it? 

By aiming to teach 100 classes, she KNEW we would get through some or all the above and then - AND THEN truly know if this is something we want to keep doing. 

Well, I am here to tell you… ALL of the above sort of happened in some way shape or form through those first 100 classes. 

AND I AM also here to say:  I don’t remember truly ever taking on something that I enjoy doing so much and can see myself doing for many, many years to come! 

Let me make it very clear… I LOVE the class design, I LOVE teaching the classes, seeing students show-up AND most of all seeing how many students seem to really like the benefits they are experiencing (on and off the mat). They feel stronger, calmer and more confident that they too can do things that maybe doesn’t feel easy at first. 

When I hear students say they can move a little more freely, feel less pain in their joints, can do things they couldn’t before, that is THE goal. Some have shared that they thought of one of our classes when going through a challenging moment in their lives and it helped them deal with the difficult situation off the mat. THAT to me, makes all the "not so fun" things about running a YOGA studio worth it. 

Now, for the truth… some things I really could and wish I didn’t have to deal with… the MARKETING - the FINANCES - AND I can barely say it out loud the SOCIAL MEDIA stuff… 🙈😱😩 

Yet, I would do it over and over again - all of it - to have so many students and supporters as part of this journey with me! 

This is to celebrate ALL of us for doing the thing, trying things and letting the doubts go out the window at any age!!! ONE HUNDRED + classes - that is what I’ve done in less than 10 months. 🎉

I hope this post finds you at a place where it can give you hope that you too can do something that might feel scary or make you nervous. Being afraid of failing is normal behaviour when we do not know the outcome. The truth is we never know for sure the outcome of anything - big or small. 

If there is one lesson to learn here it is first be aligned with who you are and what you would like to do. Find what makes you congruent with what you want to do or who you want to be. This post is not to encourage you to sign-up to get your YOGA certification or any certification just so you can say you did it. The point is when you do something that is so aligned with your desires, who you want to be in this world, then being afraid or nervous is normal and also tolerable because in the end, it is worth it. 

GO… do your thing!!!  And make sure you support yourself with the right crew...