Intergenerational vacation and interactions

Hello! I'm so happy to see you! If you are new here, welcome to Lessons with Lynn, thanks for being here! If you are returning, I'm so glad you came back for more!

I just returned from our annual road trip to New-Brunswick. THAT was an event… I will let the picture below speak for itself. Hint: 4 girls travelling with 🐶🐶 and a smaller car (that we rented -  long story for another time) so less space than we are accustomed to. Two things happened this year that has either never happened or it has been a really long time since it had:  Luc didn’t come because he was starting work (his first time not being part of this trip in 30 years 🥲) and the three girls were all coming on the same road trip at the same time. (for the first time in 10 years). 😱 

Now, once Luc wrapped his mind and disappointment about not being part of this trip… I don’t know - I could swear I saw a little smile forming on his face as we were driving away - all females in his life gone for an extended period even the dogs (who are also female). A picture is worth a thousand words… that smile said A LOT! A week to himself; hormones, emotions, drama and STUFF - free for almost a week!?!?!? No dogs to feed or walk. Who can blame him?

Meanwhile, at the same time 1500km away in N-B, my dad on the other hand was welcoming (not sure with open arms 😂) 6 females including my sister and one of her daughters and her dog - Millie. YUP including my mom, he was surrounded by a total of 7 females and 3 female dogs. It was like a newer version of Charlies’ Angels. 😇🙃

This year in N.-B. was really different - as they always are year over year. It just felt even more different because our youngest sister and her boys had been there the week before us so we were not all together - that is one of the best parts of our visit when all 16-17 of us are all there at the same time so that felt weird. 

The week in N-B turned out to be just what we needed to reconnect for some of us with daughters, sisters, cousins, aunts & uncles and longtime friends that live there. Was it the best trip? NOPE (I hope the best is yet to come) Was it the worst? NOPE. I hope the worst has already taken place - I can pinpoint a couple and prefer not to go back there thank you very much. Was it a great trip? ABSOLUTELY!  The weather was WET 🌧️ so we got to hunker down and do inside activities, play a lot of card games, eat, read and chat.  One thing that made it so amazingly interesting was the dynamics of this particular group. Not only was it heavily female dominated and my dad was way outnumbered, but the intergenerational interactions were so interesting to observe and take part in. Everybody had their own opinions, ideas and definitely their voice AND everybody was right. THAT was what rang true to me loud and clear. Depending on your generation, age or life experience your truth is your truth. It may not sound right or others may not agree - if it is your truth, it is really hard to change your mind because you see it through your lens. I felt like the middle child in this particular scenario teetering between the younger generation (teens to young adults) to my parents’ age (80’s) and it was fascinating to see patterns, same but different and yet so real how your lens, your perspective is YOUR truth. What impressed me was everyone’s open mind to listening and accepting how each generation does have a different slant on certain topics and if you go through history, isn’t that what propels us in the future? You respect what happened in the past, apply it in your present in your own way and then learn from it to move forward in the future. Rinse and repeat through the generations. 

Turns out we had a great time with lots of laughs, dogs running around (usually wet because of the weather), marble games, cribbage and of course soft served ice cream at the infamous local Dairy Bar (which has been there way before I was born). Our last two mornings provided weather where I could actually teach and record my classes on the deck overlooking the water. THAT was one of my personal highlights inviting you in my backyard where I grew-up to teach my classes. You will find the recorded classes in your Library as part of your membership later this year.  Heel - ball - toe...

HERE WE GO…  

THREE - TWO - ONE

THREE parts of your foot to move forward. 

1.  Heel 

Talk about generational patterns. The number of times I heard my mom tell my grandma when she was alive “Lift your feet up” when she walked is probably as many times as I hear myself say “inhale" in class. 🧘‍♀️ My grandma had a tendency to drag her feet when she walked. Partly to keep her balance and now that I think about it, probably her hip hurt her because she ended up having major back issues later in her life. Maybe her back was compensating for her hip hurting? Maybe she had limited mobility in her ankles? 

Today, my mom who is super active and mobile, has the same tendency to drag her feet - if I say "lift your feet, maman” first of all I hear her saying that to her mom (generational patterns) and then I think it didn’t work for my grandma. Also, it makes my mom lift her whole leg as one heavy unit which seems to me would cause discomfort in her hips!?!? So, instead, I’ve been saying to her, “heel - ball - toe”. 

You need to start back (heels) to move towards the middle (ball) to then propel yourself forward  (toes). Have you ever noticed how walking like that engages your ankle, calf, knee, toes and then hip? 

2. Ball 

The weight transfer of your body and where you can rely on balance is - the ball of your foot. It is almost impossible to go from the heel to the toes without that middle part. Just like generations - it seems we need to know the heel is doing its work to transfer toward the next part of the foot to then propel forward. 

3. Toes

If you think of your toes… these feet fingers that we stick in covered toe shoes, stiff boots, take the weight when we perch our feet in high heels and depend on them all day when we are standing, walking or running. How many times do you flex, point, stretch and bend them at their joints while bearing your body weight? Can you move your toes all independently from each other one at a time? These are all movements that our feet fingers were designed to be able to do - look back to many, many past generations - toes were used like fingers and that is why they are designed the way they are. Through time, our lifestyles have let them become less flexible, mobile or independent from each other. One thing they are still very much used for is walking / running / jumping. So, take care of those toes is what I learned from looking to generations past. 

TWO strategies for healthy intergenerational interactions. 

1. Open mind 

Watching everyone interact on our stay in N-B and being right in the middle of it all made it so obvious that an open mind had to be taken for all generations. The fact is, my parents have life experiences that nobody else in the house had. My parents have lived through world altering crises, have three 50’ ish year old daughters and have 9 grand-children of all ages. I tried to remind my daughters to have an open mind when having discussions with my mom and dad. Not only out of respect, BUT also because we have NO idea what it was like to live their life, or live their life now.  How they see and perceive the World is from their lens, their truth AND their experience of seeing patterns over the years. “Ya, but they should also have an open mind for our ideas and thoughts” was one of the comments from one of my daughters. To which I said: “Open mind? Are you kidding me?” Then I went on to say:  How many times have my parents heard, seen, experienced the life patterns over and over again with each daughter and each grand-child? First child, first day of school, heartbreaks, not making a team, feeling left out, struggling at school, injury, health scares, not getting into a desired program, etc.  amongst all the joys for each stage of life.  They keep an open mind to go through all of those patterns for each of us as the experience occurs as if it’s the first time. When actually, they know the patterns. Life can be beautiful - then it gets messy - then it’s beautiful again and so on, and so on. Yet, they keep an open mind to welcome each stage for each of us and make it feel unique for each one in its own way. 

To the younger generation listening to my rant, who have barely enough patience to read a 10 word text, the idea of the patience it must take for my parents to live through this repetition of life patterns seems to have hit a chord.  🤔😆 

2. Open heart 

What is there to say about that? Such a logical way to interact with people and yet so hard. Why is that? Well… in my humble opinion, if your heart is broken or hurting, you can see how having an open heart for someone else or showing vulnerability could be challenging. YET - studies show over and over again that opening your heart, showing kindness, being grateful and serving others is the quickest way to healing your own heart. It is so counter-intuitive for many of us yet I have seen it work over the years. I encouraged my girls to have an open heart during our vacation in spite of their own worries, stress or their own challenges. I’m not sure if it worked - something certainly did work because there was very little emotional deregulation or outbursts. Hmmm come to think about it maybe the common denominator was that Luc wasn’t there? 😀😆 Anyone who knows us knows THAT is VERY funny. 

ONE Femininomenon

1. One thing the newer generation does that I have a hard time to truly understand is the use of what I might call vulgar language in really powerful pop songs. When we were all piled-up in the car, they made me listen to this song appropriately called Femininomenon. It seemed so appropriate for our all female girls’ road trip and it's powerful with a catchy tune too so I was all excited - first pumping in the air singing along and then… the language!?!? WHY? I don’t get it. I kept an open-mind and open heart thinking of all the songs that I am sure my parents thought were awful (or remember the era of subliminal messages when you played certain records backwards?)  So, I attempt to keep an open mind and open heart, I realize there are so many songs nowadays that have, through my lens, unacceptable language.  If the girls like a tune or a singer, I refrain from making too many comments while at the same time not necessarily condoning the use of that type of language. 

Lynn xo 

Please NOTE all of these ideas, thoughts and information are generalizations and do not take into account any trauma, injuries or serious life altering circumstances both physical or mental.