Turning 50 gracefully and with poise

I have composed so many BLOG posts over the last 2 years, I am unclear what issue number this is. Several of my first BLOG posts were about how to prepare to turn 50 gracefully . Truly it could have been “how to prepare to turn any age gracefully”. What seems basic and typical since if you are lucky you get to do it every year. If you didn’t turn 1 year older, would that not mean you died? If you died, wouldn’t there be a lot of people around you personally, professionally and in the community that would miss you and your existence? For those of you who have children or even with animals, you know that feeling of loving them so much and once in a while you want them to stay at THAT sweet stage and a part of you doesn’t want them to grow-up or get older? Or those cute little outfits that you are sad they have outgrown? My mom would look at me and say: “I know you are sad that she is growing-up, the alternative isn’t much better, is it?” THAT was a little harsh and yet she was so right. (Aren’t moms mostly right most of the time?)  I applied the same analogy to turning 50 and decided I wanted to turn 50 and while I am at it, I may as well do it with grace and poise. 

One of my very good friends and yoga/pilates/workout partner (for over 5 years) knows me very well… On the day we were returning from a little get-away for my 49th birthday, she turned to me and said: “So, how are you going to want to celebrate turning 50?”. I faked a puzzled look and said: “What do you mean?”. Roll of the eyes by her that meant she knew me very well… Of course I had already been thinking about it. What I was able to express on that day was what I had been processing for a couple of days. “I want to do something that is not about me. I want to do something that is aligned with what I believe in, what is important to me and find a way to bring the people I care about together and find a way to give back. I want to start a Foundation.” There would be no big party for me, no surprise party and no spending money on a frivolous affair. That is not where I was at that time in my life. When I turned 30 I had a surprise party and I remember it was great. My sister had organized it which I remember thinking was very sweet. When I turned 30, I was at a completely different head space and stage in my life. When I turned 40, I had just had our 3rd daughter a few weeks before - that is for an entire other BLOG entry in itself. 

50 felt different, so I needed to do something that was congruent with my beliefs and what was important to me at that stage in my life. As the weeks went on, I started to settle on how to turn 50 and how to celebrate it. My youngest sister, who also knows me very well, asked me almost the same question a few weeks after my 49th birthday. “So? How are we doing this 50th thing?” By then, I had a clearer vision and I know that if you want to do something or achieve a goal, you must put it out there. Say it, write it to somebody and communicate it so that you feel you have to go through with it AND your close allies can keep you accountable. Once I put it “out there” I could not go back. So it went like this… 

I am happy to turn 50. The alternative of not turning 50 is not that great for many people I love and care about. Plus, I have a lot I want to accomplish so I need to turn 50. I am thankful that I am healthy, happily married and have 3 daughters that continue to amaze me in many ways. That was the turning point where I accepted I was ready to turn 50 and all the wonderful things that come with that. There was so  much to celebrate. It came flowing - so clear to me and I shared this with my sister:

I want to:  

-be there to watch my family continue to grow.  

-experience so much with Luc (my husband and journey partner).  

-celebrate that I am here at 50 with so much to be grateful. 

-set-up a FUND to give back to others in need - I had been talking about it for so long. I want to do that this year. 

-to learn from women that have turned 50 before me and beyond that I admire and get their input on how to grow older with grace and poise

-write a BLOG about how to turn 50 with grace and poise

-have a fundraiser for family and friends instead of an actual birthday party 

Once I put it out there and told my friend and my little sister, there was no turning back. 

A friend of mine who owns a children’s art studio thought it would be cool to make soup bowls for attendees to use at the event and take one home at the end. She graciously let us use her studio and with her help, friends and family, we made these wonderful unique creations. 

For months, we organized and planned a family fundraiser event a few days after my birthday. I'm a little bit supersticious with certain things so doing it before the actual day I turned 50 was not an option.  

It was such an amazing event. My husband had solicited the help of a very creative teacher at his school to decorate the gym to make it look less like a gym so that we did not have to rent space for the event. When I walked in, it took my breath away - everything looked so beautiful, a playlist was playing all  my favourite songs, so many friends, neighbours, colleagues and my sisters’ friends came to support along with my parents and even my sister from Montreal flew in just for the day.

I could not have asked for a better way to celebrate this milestone. We raised over $3,000 that night. Guests got to take one of the beautiful bowls home with them as a thank you gift. 

For more lessons and how I can help you with the GAPS in your life follow me @lessonswithlynn or send me an e-mail here to explore what areas in your life you might have some GAPS. Once we fill one gap, more often than not it impacts other areas in our lives positively. Ask me how.