How to unstick yourself

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I know from speaking to clients this week that if you think about it too much, you can get stuck. I am all for PLANNING. In fact, I would say, I’m definitely one of those who will spend 2/3 of the time planning and then the last 1/3 working the plan. So, I get it. If you feel stuck though… is that planning? To me planning, is moving forward, seeing the project or goal in my head and determine steps to move forward and determine the what, when, where, who, why, etc. That is different than inaction which is what many have expressed to me this past week. 

HERE WE GO…  

THREE - TWO - ONE

THREE clients this week that were stuck in inaction 

1. Analysis paralysis  

One client said she wants to focus on integrating exercise into her life. That was her goal. This is what she has brought up in the first two sessions we had. I asked her what was stopping her from exercising? She wasn’t sure what type of exercise she wanted to do, if she should spend money on a gym or fitness centre, maybe do online or wait until September when she won’t be travelling so much. I sat there… she looked at me through Zoom… She was waiting for this perfect exercise scenario and by doing that, it was preventing her from starting now, from doing something, some form of movement, anything. Sometimes anything is better than nothing. Over the last two weeks ever since she started her coaching sessions, we have talked about this goal. Over the last two weeks, she has not taken any steps (literally) toward movement. During our third session, I challenged her. What can you do this week to move which will move you toward your goal until you find the perfect exercise routine you want to do? She smiled and nodded. She got it. She was looking for perfection and she fell into the paralysis analysis. She sent me an e-mail to tell me she had been out twice for a long walk, did some stretching followed by squats and sit-ups. She seemed so excited to have done “something”. 

2. Overwhelmed 

One of my dear friends who happens to still do her own gardening at the age of 93 was commenting on me planting my garden last night.  I was telling her that I had waited all week and finally, I decided that night that I would go plant at least one thing… She said: “I should really plant those Hostas I got from my daughter’s garden last week. I keep looking at them and can’t make up my mind where to plant them. Where should I put them? Should they all be planted together or should I separate them? First of all, I stood there, as always, amazed that I’m having these types of conversations with her.  She seemed overwhelmed with what to do with them so I casually said: “Maybe just start with one". She looked up at me with this look of relief and said: “You are absolutely right, I will start with one, that’s it. Why am I worrying about where to put all of them? I will start by planting one and see.” Even at 93, we can tend to get overwhelmed and to find ways to shift that. Just start with one… isn’t that always a great way to start anything at any age? 

3. Stuck 

Another client said to me that her physio suggested she stretch to improve the mobility in her hip. She has had some pain in her hip for some time and it’s preventing her from enjoying an active life to its fullest. I asked her when in her calendar she had planned to do these stretches? Time was not an issue, it was more the desire to do the stretches. She did not like doing them. Understandably, they were uncomfortable and sometimes painful. So literally she was stuck. Physically with her hip and in her mind not wanting to do them. Her mind convinced her that she had to like doing something in order to commit to it. I said: “Do only the things you like to do go into your calendar?” Once we shifted her mindset to why she should do her stretches, to have less pain and more enjoyment, even though she doesn’t like the stretches she would only get better if she did them. That opened up some possibilities. She felt stuck so she was doing nothing to get better. With this new mindset, she made a commitment to herself by writing it in her calendar 2 times a week as a start to do 15 minutes of stretching. As a little positive reinforcement, she promised herself that before she could watch a show on those days, she would have to do her stretches.  Her goal is to do stretching almost every day for 15 minutes.  This plan brings her closer to that goal rather than not doing anything at all and staying stuck.  

TWO things that I learned 

1. Michelle Obama 

Last week’s newsletter had Michelle Obama in the Subject line and many of you asked me why? It was a mistake! 😉🫣  I had an idea, changed my mind and forgot to take it out of the subject line. 🙄  I too find myself stuck and not able to move forward on many things especially when I left my corporate job. Those first few years were really tough. I knew I had to do something so I implemented ways to complete little projects. I figured if I could start with small projects then I could scale those skills up to achieve bigger goals/ projects. It was at the time Michelle Obama’s first book came out. I wanted to read it. If you know me, you know I can read fast but NOT for a long time until I fall asleep especially at night. So… it takes me a LONG time to finish reading books.  I decided to take 20 minutes every morning to read this book and finish it. I counted how many pages there were in it, I figured how many pages per 20 minutes in the morning I could read approximately and committed to it every day.  It was AMAZING! I stuck to this plan and knew roughly when I would be finished and guess what? It worked. I was soooo excited to have made a plan, stick to it and see the end of a project. I immediately jumped on another project. I believe it was to clear a cupboard in our entrance that had become a catch-all storage space. I asked Luc to help me and we tackled that area every morning for 20 minutes only. Within 1 week, we had that space cleared, organized and transformed into a much better use of the space. The trick was… to stick to the 20 minutes. By telling ourselves it was “only” 20 minutes it: a) kept us focussed and b) when it was time to do it, it didn’t feel like a big deal - 20 minutes is not so long that it is unbearable so it didn’t feel overwhelming. 

2. Done is sometimes better than perfection

I like things to go as planned, I like things to be done well and exactly as I imagine them, that is the way I am wired.  I have also learned that sometimes, getting things done is better than wishing for perfection. How many things in your life have you not started because you want it to be perfect or it's never the perfect time to start? Instead, you do nothing? I experienced that these past few weeks getting the website up and running with a library for members to be able to access their LIVE classes, recordings and access the new breath work and stretching courses I offer.  I was looking for the perfect time to record and upload everything at once. 

ONE thing I learned in reading the Michelle Obama book (it has nothing to do with the book per se just how I read it. 😂😉) 

I found myself trying to get all the classes recorded, labelled and uploaded before sharing the site with you, my members. Then, it dawned on me… I don’t need to have EVERYTHING uploaded and ready all at once.  As long as I commit to uploading the classes on a weekly basis, I can share the link and let members use the platform.  I was letting myself get overwhelmed. Everything I have to do to prepare all these classes, recordings and courses still needs to happen and they will get done. When I put a time limit (in my case a timeline of NOW) that is when I felt overwhelmed. Once I removed the time limitation of NOW, the overwhelmed feeling disappeared. The task became more realistic and possible to move forward and upload the classes and links little by little just like I had read the Michelle Obama book and organized my cupboard. One small step at a time. Start with one…